Roses are expensive,
Chocolates don’t last,
Valentine’s Day sucks,
Here’s why being single is a blast
February 14th is rapidly approaching, and for the non-committed, that means that Singles Awareness Day (SAD) is upon us. Here’s a couple ego boosters to keep in mind this Valentine’s day.
1. You’re better looking
According to Psychology Today, single men and women exercise on average 2 hours longer each week than their taken counterparts. While all the couples are splitting a pizza, and watching a movie, you’re at the gym busting your ass.
2. You’re more popular
Singles average 10 close friends, whereas those in relationships average only 8. Science indicates they lose one friend for every consecutive week (month?) they post their significant other as their MCM/WCW.
3. You’re loaded
It’s no secret, having a girlfriend or boyfriend is expensive as hell. Date nights, gifts, and condoms (cheaper than babies y’all) add up pretty quick. Take all your extra cash and buy yourself a lifetime’s worth of 50% off Ghirardelli chocolate come February 15th.
4. Your bed is your own personal kingdom
You can pass out diagonally across your bed after demolishing a tub of Thin Mint ice cream after binge-watching Friends and there’s nothing anybody can say about it. Also sharing a blanket with someone sucks any way you cut it. On that note…
5. You sleep like royalty
Although there might be some studies on the benefits of sleeping with a partner, nothing’s worse than hearing someone vocally sawing logs while you’re trying to sleep. Top that with their tossing and turning, and the rare-but-infamous late night awakening of the “I dreamt you cheated on me” accusation, your personal bed has never looked better.
6. You’re a brain surgeon
For ladies in particular, studies show you might be single because you’re too smart to date. You’re double majoring, and working a job, all while applying for internships? Something tells me finding “the one” isn’t super high on your priority list. And for the dudes? Uhhh, just keep trying bud, you’ll get there eventually.
7. You’re free!
America was founded on freedom. Singles are free to do whatever you choose. Ergo, being single is the most American thing you can be. On a scale of 1-America how free are you? About a 1776 baby, so let freedom make your phone ring from all the numbers you’ll be getting this weekend. God Bless America, and God Bless your single ass.
So if you are one of the singles out there on Valentine’s Day, don’t feel like shit, because you are the shit. And to all the couples out there, congratulations! You’re making it. Just remember that the day’s namesake is shared with the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Enjoy the chocolates!
Want some ideas how to spend your Singles Awareness Day? We got you over at College Hill’s Pinterest.
by Marketing Intern, Brett Hanaford